“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

I was once talking with my friend and not even noticing when exactly – I have got super honest[1]. Instead of saying: “it’s not as bad”, I’ve said: “It’s actually very bad”. Instead of saying: “But I’m trying my best”, I’ve said “I give up”. And then, after he still was trying to find a silver lining in all of that shit I have told him: “I want to die”. From the perspective of time, I assume that it was one of the worst things I have ever done to anyone in my life… If that’s any consolation – I have regretted it the moment my lips stopped moving. And it’s not about my secret being out. Well, not only: there is also a gaze full of pity when they look at you; there is this stain on their perception of you; there is also a lot of disappointment at the situation – because I guess it’s like with every illness – no-one will understand it unless they actually go through it[2]. From this point of view, trust me, walk the walk but never (ever) talk the talk. Amen.

[1] a mistake.

[2] and that means that your ultra-honesty went wasted and you could have just stay silent.

mdd

 

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